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The current year represents a full decade since the term “ghosting” hit the public consciousness. Initially, the concept that someone could abruptly cease communication with a partner without explanation seemed like the peak of rudeness. How naive we were. In the decade since, finding a mate has only become more bewildering – an frequently pointless endeavor in embarrassment that is increasingly shaped by online slang.

Generation Z, a demographic who matured during a loneliness epidemic, a male identity reckoning, and a concerted attack on the freedoms of females and the LGBTQ+ community, faces a far messier environment than their millennial elders could ever imagine. And so their dating vocabulary has grown longer and more deranged, with expressions like “Shrekking” and “monkey branching” testing the boundaries of your sanity.

Below is a extensive glossary to the words gen Z is using to navigate love, sex and the pursuit of both. To echo one of the year’s most viral memes, by the end of this guide you’ll ache to get back to simpler times – because where that is, it is free from “wokefishing”.

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The Letter A

Authenticity – According to Zoomers, romance's ideal is presenting as your true, unfiltered self. You'll need it with that!

B

Avian theory – A TikTok trend loosely based on a methodology developed by couples researchers, in which you bring up something insignificant – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and pay attention to whether your partner’s reply is interested or disinterested. If they aren't interested to hear more about the bird, you two are doomed.

Independent partner – Gen Z’s response to the “manic pixie dream girl” stereotype of the early 2000s – but instead of having short fringe, liking indie music and eschewing commitment, the mysterious partner puts herself first while exuding mystery and independence. (She might still have baby bangs.)

The Letter C

Seat theory – This means seeking out someone who supports you unprompted. If you entered a room, they would get a seat for you to take a load off.

Errand romance – A outing where two people connect while doing chores, such as pet care or grocery shopping. In other words, how broke people in their 20s do budget-friendly dating in a post-“$5 beer and shot combo” world.

Crashing out – Losing it when you feel overwhelmed by life. You can lose it over a crush or breakup, spilling all of your unreciprocated feelings.

D

DINK – Double income, no kids. Once a signifier of 80s young urban professional affluence, it describes couples who forgo parenthood to prioritize their own happiness. Or because they are unable to afford to become parents.

The Letter E

Emotional vibe coding – The antithesis of acting aloof: utilizing dialogue, transparency and openness.

F

Indicators

• Warning signs – Personal habits suggesting a potential partner is bad news. Examples include calling their former partners unstable, subpar gratuity habits, a love of Woody Allen films, a nascent DJ career …
• Good indicators – These traits affirm your choice to pursue a mate. Such as following up to make sure you got home safely after a date, minimal screen time, having a bed frame …
• Beige flags – These usually describe specific, mostly harmless quirks. Such as being an enthusiastic birdwatcher, still keeping a pen in their purse, paying the rent in physical money …

Freak matching – When you connect with someone who’s just as obsessive about documentaries about the WWII or DVD collecting or collaging or anything it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, finding someone who hates the same things or people that you do (few things builds closeness faster than sharing a nemesis).

The Letter G

The band Geese – A musical group a typical Zoomer guy likes.

Zombie-ing – Someone who pops back into your life after a length of disappearing.

Eager-to-please partner – Someone who is friendly, eager to please and devoted. The uncommon partner who is liked by all of his partner’s friends, and a mysterious partner's foil.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A primarily online community of men so fixated with self-pleasure that they attempt extended sessions, deliberately postponing climax so they can go on as long as possible.

H

Pessimistic straight dating – A mindset describing many women's increasing pessimism toward straight relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

Traditional ideal woman – An stereotype touted by manosphere figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, ever-comforting and happily home-oriented, who seemingly has no goals of her own aside from satisfying her male partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to see the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

The Letter I

Ick factors – Random and often mundane turnoffs that instantly kill any feelings of desire.

“He would if he cared" – Something to tell yourself after you watch someone else receive an incredibly sweet display.

J

Careers – These have not been this significant in the romance landscape since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “man in finance” is the ultimate catch: a fleece-vest-wearing, conservative-leaning guy who will provide (there’s a popular TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd seek out partners in fields they perceive as being staffed by the more emotionally available among us: nurses, educators or therapists.

The Letter K

Locking lips – This year, researchers learned that the kiss has been around for 16 million years. But the era of locking lips may be limited since some gen Z want fewer sex scenes in film, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find onscreen romance realistic.

Light catfishing – Mild deception. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using older (better) pictures of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your career sound more important than it is. Also known as {